This reflection was inspired by Abdelrahman Mussa from IPersonal Enrichment...
...I hope I can live up to this statement myself, InshaAllah.
When you are the victim of an incident, such as physical abuse, psychological abuse, betrayal or even neglect. The infliction (done by that person) itself is momentary. It's more enduring if you're feeling emotional or psychological pain. Nevertheless, the actual occurrence of that incident is only a moment. The 'aftermath' however, the pain that results from that incident, can last for days, weeks, and even months (depending on the severity of what happened).
The incident that happened to you was unfortunate and out of control. And you are indeed deserving of consideration, care and justice.
So why does the resulting pain have to last so long? Well, it doesn't have to. Most of the time your pain is continued because you're constantly reminiscing the incident that happened in the past. You're re-living the moment in your head a hundred times over.
Even though this 'replay' is abstract, the pain you feel from that memory is very real. And it opens up your emotional scars. Think about something that made you emotionally hit rock bottom. It hurts right now doesn't it? Okay, now stop.
When you consciously decide to remember that moment and dwell on it, it's almost becomes self-infliction. But little do we realize it- let alone, we never see it in that way.
Little do you realize this is where you can exert your control to stop the pain. To stop replaying. You cannot change the past, but YOU are in control of your mind and your thoughts, but we as humans have less control over our emotions. So if we can control to keep such thoughts to a minimum, then our emotions won't find a way to resurface. Successful people are the ones who can moderate their thoughts... because they know the profound effect that thoughts have, despite being something that is non-concrete. Successful people possess their thoughts, they are not possessed by them.
Please do not take this advice as a sign of victim blaming. This article is only so people can have a realization of their strength to move on from such situations and revert to living their normal lives. That no matter what has happened to them, they can find strength in their misfortunes. This is only advice to initiate and speed up the recovery of victims of whatever misfortune.
It does take a lot of mental endurance to take control of your own mind (the irony!). But life will be full of ups and downs regardless. So it's a must.
In strength lies happiness. I hope this article has made you have an epiphany of your real strength.
“Watch your thoughts; they become your words
Watch your words; they become your actions
Watch your actions; they become your habits
Watch your habits; they become your character
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny”
-Ibn Al Qayyim
awesome, well written and certainly useful. Thanks
ReplyDeleteunfortunately, I am starting to realize that there are whole nations which duel on their emotional states for years and just can't do anything about it.
possessing thoughts is the key.
I also believe that if we think about it, how the outcome is going to help whether we duel for a day or a month. We are just stopping ourselves from doing something positive, from just moving on. And as you said it moves on, so let's look at what should be done next